Script

Ryan is sitting in a chair, gun in hand, puts gun to head

Death grabs gun, yells “wtf do you think you’re doing?”

Ryan looks shocked, death says “Are you deaf?! Wtf are you doing?”

Ryan yells at death saying “Who the fuck are you?! How’d you get in here?”

I’m your family’s grim reaper. I’m here to stop you from killing yourself.” Death says pulling the gun from Ryan’s hand and slamming it down on the table.

“Why would you do that? I can’t go on living! My wife died in a car crash, I lost my job, my dog got ran over, my house caught on fire, and my brother was kidnapped by the Russian mob! I have no reason to live!” Ryan yells.

“You can’t kill yourself because then I’D lose my job!” Death yells.

“The fuck?”

“My job is to watch over your bloodline and if there’s no one left alive then I lose my job! I have a wife and three kids! One’s going into college to be a bautician! Do you know how expensive beauty school is?!? No, you don’t! Now man up and get the fuck out of here and get on with your life! Trust me life gets better after you hit the bottom.” Death rants.

“Ryan sits still for a moment, thinking, then sighs. “Well, if death says it’ll get better from here out, who am I to argue?” Ryan picks up the gun, stands up, and tosses the gun behind his shoulder before moving to give death a hand shake. The gun goes off and shoots Ryan in the back. Ryan falls over dead.

Death then starts yelling at Ryan’s body, “YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE! YOU JUST COST ME MY JOB! YOU’RE DEAD TO ME! GO FUCK YOURSELF YOU DICK!”

Death fades away while walking away.